Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
