New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Randomize
