Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
