i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
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