I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
