did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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