Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
