What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
