Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
