I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Randomize
