I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
We named our party play list daddy issues
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
