I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
