her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
accomplished twins. life is a go
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
