Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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