the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I checked into jail on foursquare
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Randomize
