I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
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