we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Randomize
