No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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