maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
