Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Randomize
