Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
