i already hear my dad disowning me
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Can I color on your dick again?
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
