We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize
