I will die if light touches me.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
