im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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