Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
