Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
