Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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