Screwed.edu
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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