Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
