Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
