Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
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