so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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