They should really pass out barf bags in church
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Randomize
