She said her name was "party"
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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