i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
