You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
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