Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
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