the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
