...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
