What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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