I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
