If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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