Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
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