if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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