That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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