no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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