Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
