and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Randomize
