SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Pants are for mortals
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
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