Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
