I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
