no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
